


Brighter than any constellation

by pretendiamcool



Series: Brighter with you [2]
Category: Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020), Shubh Mangal Zyada Saavdhan (2020) RPF
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Big Brothers, Boys In Love, Brother-Sister Relationships, Declarations Of Love, Dorks in Love, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, How Do I Tag, Hurt/Comfort, I Wrote This Instead of Sleeping, Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Protective Older Brothers, Protective Sisters
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-26
Updated: 2020-06-26
Packaged: 2021-03-03 22:33:29
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,220
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24933064
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/pretendiamcool/pseuds/pretendiamcool
Summary: "The realisation that he had lost a part of his family had actually, really sunk in now. It felt like a huge wave crashing into his frail body with full force, drenching him from head to toes in cold, unforgiving water."The second part in this series! You should read the first before jumping into this one!
Relationships: Aman Tripathi & Goggle Tripathi, Kartik Singh & Goggle Tripathi, Kartik Singh/Aman Tripathi
Series: Brighter with you [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1780183
Comments: 10
Kudos: 25





	Brighter than any constellation

**Author's Note:**

> So....this is the second part of the series! I don't really have anything to say...so let's just jump in maybe?  
> *Awkwardly slides away*

Ever since she had come into this world, kicking, screaming and unleashing an ear-splitting war cry on the unsuspecting staff and her over-taxed mother in the small room in the hospital that paraded around as the operation theatre, the Tripathi family hadn’t realised that what they had witnessed was the creation of their greatest headache for many years to come. And ever since she had been old enough to be aware of people around her, she had had a number of them flitting around her, sometimes cooing at her with exaggerated expressions while at other times there would be exasperated tirades of how much work she was giving them. But throughout all the madness that defined the family, there had always been one presence that was rather inquisitive. More curious and protective than anything else. Of course, these aren’t things she remembers. It’s what she’s pieced together from the countless reminiscing sessions that her family dived into from time to time. But no matter what kind of a picture they painted, her brother had always been portrayed as the protective one, sitting with her whenever he could, always running into her room if she had made even the slightest bit of a distressed sound and just being the ever-present 'big brother'. 

  
So yes, Rajni could say with almost absolute certainty that if there was ever to be a question about who she cherished the most in her family, the answer was pretty obvious for her at the very least. And it would most probably include Keshav too. They were after all a tight knit group of miscreants evolving and living co-dependently. Aman was the dependable, quirky, passionate, level-headed and protective big brother and they were the younger siblings, vying for his attention and his affection. She doesn’t think she had actually realised just how integral a part he played in her life until he had been miles away from her, struggling to blossom in the chaotic streets of Delhi. 

  
He had almost always been the glue holding their family together, giving his all just so that the fraying edges of the fabric that made their household were never torn. She sometimes wondered how their elders had lived together before Aman had come barging in, with all his gloriousness and righteousness. All of them, no matter how exasperating or sometimes controlling, were a part of Aman and he had cherished them all with a fervour that seemed unimaginable now. There had never been a scenario when he hadn’t made time for Rajni and Keshav. Even if all his outward demeanour oozed sass and sarcasm, there had always been love. No matter how exacting it was to maintain his calmness in the face of their combined whining, Aman had always been there. 

  
And this was why she realized with startling clarity, just how much all of this had broken him as they walked out of the courtyard and towards the room where Karthik and Aman’s bags had been stowed away. He wasn’t looking at either her or Keshav. He wasn’t even looking at Karthik, for whom he had actually waged the whole hypothetical war on their family. But she could see the imminent breakdown that was about to happen. And what was actually terrifying was that she had never seen her brother so close to a breakdown ever. Yes, there had been that time when he had realised that she knew he wasn’t exactly straight, but it had been somewhat controlled because they had trusted each other and they had been young. Aman hadn’t let anybody in the family see him actually have anything resembling a meltdown or even if it was just an inkling of any kind of negative emotion. It was why he had been the darling boy in the family. But none of them had known Aman like she and Keshav did. Now that she looks back on it, she thinks it might have been because he was scared. Of being himself, of coming out and the family rejecting him. She wonders how painful it must have been, hiding himself so well. Creating the perfect persona of a strong person, ready to face everything. And in the end, all of it only led to this and she’s angry and so very disappointed in their family. She has the sudden urge to run back to where they must still be and unleash all of her wrath. But Aman needs her more. He needs their support and she’ll be damned if she isn’t there holding her brother when he had spent almost all his life being their shield and their support. 

  
Rajni crouches down beside Aman who was sat on the bed cross-legged with his face buried in his palms. She sees his body shuddering slightly as he cried his eyes out. But even then, there was almost no noise. She pried his hands away from his face as Keshav knelt down on Aman’s other side. She took both of his hands in hers and tried to show her support. She hoped it was enough for now but she was at a loss. What more could she do? Keshav was bent down, resting his head on Aman’s thigh and Karthik walked up to the bed and sat down behind his boyfriend, letting Aman lean into him. And Aman, even when hurting tries his best to impart comfort to them. He rubs soothing circles into her hands and he cards his fingers through Keshav's hair. She looks up to see Karthik smiling at her. There’s is much warmth in those eyes and in that smile that suddenly she feels so very glad that Aman has Karthik with him. She smiles back just as sunnily before pulling all of them in for a hug. 

  
And if anybody had been hanging around outside the room, they would have heard Karthik’s somewhat boisterous laugh and the others joining in soon enough. 

~*~

The train ride back to Delhi was so much more calmer and much less dramatic than the one to Allahabad. They get a compartment to themselves. It’s too early in the morning for the trains to be crowded and Karthik thinks that he might enjoy this ride. Enjoy the silence it brings. 

  
He’s tired. He feels too drained to do anything other than exist in that moment, slumped on the scratchy and uncomfortable train seat with Aman on his right, leaning into him with his head resting on Karthik’s shoulder. In that moment, he thinks he would probably eternally happy if he could just stay there forever, Aman’s gentle breathing and the rise and fall of his chest calming his agitation and anxiety more than anything else could. Maybe that’s why the two of them were so very perfect for each other. Somehow, someway they understood the other and were good at supporting each other too. Even if they were so drastically different in their personalities, Karthik thinks it’s the sense of calmness and rightness that makes them an absolutely, amazingly and wondrously perfect couple.

  
He was broken out of his reverie when he heard quiet sniffles from the man beside him. 

  
“Aman?” he voiced out as quietly as he could and as Aman looked up at him, he could feel his heart constrict at the red rimmed eyes and the broken expression on that beautiful face. 

  
“Kya hua Aman?”

  
“Kuch nahi. It’s just that I hadn’t expected that all this would happen when we had planned on coming here for a wedding. I had been so happy that you would meet my family and all. And now look at us.” The admission was followed by a watery chuckle and Karthik could only hold him closer as more of his thoughts spilled out.

  
“I don’t think I had realised just how far they might be willing to go so that they won’t have to accept me. Of course, I had known that it would be hard, seeing as they are set in their old ways, but I had really hoped that we could get to talk.” The sniffles turn into wracking sobs. He’s gasping for breath now and his thoughts just spiral around in his head but he can’t get anything out. He just clings to Karthik as tightly as he can, buries his face in the crook between his boyfriend’s neck and shoulder. He feels the soft material of Karthik's shirt and he knows that his tears are dampening the cloth but he can’t bring himself to care at that moment. The realisation that he had lost a part of his family had actually, really sunk in now. It felt like a huge wave crashing into his frail body with full force, drenching him from head to toes in cold, unforgiving water. He hadn’t ever doubted that his family had loved him. Even with all the snarky comments and the craziness and the jealousy that reared its head from time to time, they had still always been his family. His Chacha's silent understanding, Chachi's warm hugs, his mother’s unquestionably superior sweets that always lifted his moods and his father’s stoic love. But the day before had put things into perspective. They had been planning to “kill” him. Of course, it wasn’t physical, but it was the thought that mattered wasn’t it? They had been actually planning to kill his so called soul, change his name and change _him_. Change everything that made him, him. And that was what broke him, what had nudged him into action. 

  
If they were ready to let go of him that easily then why couldn’t he? Why was he the one feeling as if his world was crashing around him?

  
“I-I've lost th-them Karthik. Kya karu mein abh? They’ve a-always been a part of me and abh k-kya hoga?” Aman knew his voice was breaking and that he was barely understandable.

  
At least he would have Goggle and Keshav with him. And of course Karthik would be there every step of the way. Maybe they would come around? At some point in the future? That was the only thing he could do wasn’t it? Hope? He feels Karthik’s arms tighten around him, the taller man’s chin resting on his crown as he rubs his back and tries to calm him. It works somewhat as Aman tries to copy Karthik’s slow and deep breaths until his own aren’t coming out in short staccato gasps. 

  
Karthik looks down at his love and releases a silent sigh when he sees that Aman’s eyelids are drooping, exhaustion catching up to him. It broke his heart to see the person who’s always been the stronger one of the pair breakdown in such a way. The raw pain that had drenched his voice had Karthik almost crying with him but he had to stay strong. The least he could do was offer as much comfort as he could. He spent the rest of the ride looking out if the window, as the sky changed colours from the inky black to the red, orange and yellow hues of sunrise. As he glanced at Aman, who was still sleeping with tear travks clearly visible on his cheeks, he promised himself that he’d never let the man go. After all, as long as they were together, nothing could bring them down. 

~*~

Delhi was as chaotic as ever and it took a long time for them to reach their apartment. Both of them only had a day more before they would have to go for their work again. Aman was still somewhat silent, only ever speaking up when spoken to. But Karthik worked with what he had, making the shorter man smile gently at his light teasing and caring. Most of their first day back was spent unpacking and cleaning the house that had been closed for a few days. Aman thinks it’s relaxing, the quiet and the comfort of being back home with Karthik. And as the sun sets and night approaches, he’s calmer than he had been in the morning. He’s sure that Karthik notices too judging by the wider smile and the more enthusiastic side of him peeking out again. It undeniably warmed him that this perfect man was willing to stay with him, even after knowing all his weird quirks and was ready to deal with his moods. It was so much more than he had expected to have in his life and Aman doesn’t want to let go of this feeling of contentment. He’s not sure if he ever will be able to let go of Karthik. 

  
That night when they retreated to their bed, finding comfort in their closeness, Aman voiced his thoughts in a hushed whisper, “Thank you for staying with me. I-I don’t know what I would do if I didn’t have you. I’m not sure I would even survive if I ever lost you. I’ll fight with everything I have to make you happy and to never let you go.”

  
That whispered back was gravelly and wrought with emotion, “I am never leaving you Aman Tripathi. No matter what happens, you’ll always have me. And there’s nothing more that you have to do to make me happy. As long as we’re together, there’s nothing that could make me feel better.”

  
“I love you Karthik Singh.”

  
“I love you too.”

**Author's Note:**

> Did anybody like it?   
> I'm majorly sleep deprived right now (running on 3 hours of sleep in 2 days), so please forgive me for any mistakes that might pop up? I mean you can of course point it out and I'll correct them!  
> Anyway! If anybody wants to rant at me, you're always welcome to do so! PM me maybe? Or in the comments? Should I give away my social media handle?


End file.
